Confrontation

I just spoke to my abuser's mother. My grandmother just called and wanted me to come to a family reunion. The family that raised me and who knew my abuser was "a dirty old man". That is what she calls him. She says she kicked him out when he was younger for molesting his sisters. He grew up and got married and molested me. He got divorced and remarried, to his cousin of all people, and molested her children as well. So anyway....

I just spoke to my abuser's mother to invite me to a family reunion. I told her I was sick, which I am, and could not come. I also told her that I feel very uncomfortable keeping my past from her. Before I could say anything she told me that she knew. She knew that he was harming me but hoped that her thoughts were not true. She knew he was a molester but hoped he would spare me the agony of a lifetime of dealing with his lingering touch and incestuous love. I barely got the words out, "I need to tell you what he did to me when I was little." She was so caring and understanding. This is not the reaction I expected. She told me that to heal I needed to confront him. She told me that he would apologize. She told me that he is sorry.

How can she be so sure? I told her that her beliefs were fiction and he would never admit to it. She assured me that she would be there, by my side, and if he denied anything she would "kick his butt!" Should I confront him? Is that really the path to healing? What would I even say? I really need help with this one.